Brief by Central Staff
Small town life – March 2002 – Colorado Central Magazine
Since the days of the Great Depression, Salida has billed itself as “the Heart of the Rockies.”
That’s a safe body part, especially if you consider the fate of Lorrie Baumann, who used to be the editor of the Battle Mountain Bugle in Battle Mountain, Nevada.
Gene Weingarten, a writer for the Washington Post Magazine, visited Battle Mountain for an article that was published Dec. 2, 2001. He asked Baumann if it was true that the Nevada mining town was “the armpit of America,” and she replied “Sounds about right. I think a quick drive around downtown will answer any questions that might be lingering in your mind.”
She was so quoted in his article. Many residents were upset, and Baumann said merchants threatened to pull their advertising from the Bugle, so she was fired.
Publisher Lee Denmark refused to comment on her dismissal. Of Weingarten’s article, he said “large segments were mean-spirited and unnecessary,” but there are merchants who “want to try to figure out a way to capitalize on the publicity.”
Thus, those merchants might someday prosper because of tourists who want to visit “The Armpit of America.” And considering the newspaper business, the fired editor will probably make more money, enjoy greater dignity, and work fewer hours by waiting tables in the future. So there’s a happy ending pending.
But for those who want to charm their local establishment, we urge more creativity. How about “the Clavicle of America” or “the Nation’s Kneecap,” “the Elbow,” “the Thyroid” or “the Liver” — terms that make a place sound interesting, but probably won’t offend even the most narrow-minded, small-town publisher?
Non-human body parts might also add some flare: “the beak,” “the tail,” “the antennae,” “the paw.” We’ve also heard of euphemistic anatomical descriptions for some places, as in: “If you wanted to give America an enema, this is the place.” But we doubt that such substitutions would please merchants — although “Where the Sun Don’t Shine,” does seem to offer possibilities (except in our region where the sun almost always shines).
We also wonder about rivers. If the bottom end of a river is its “mouth,” what does that make our part, up here at the other end?