Letter from Slim Wolfe
Politics – March 2004 – Colorado Central Magazine
Editors,
I durn near passed out reading Ed’s discussion of the water issue, which was not Ed’s fault at all, but rather, the nature of the beast itself. Then I durn near passed out rereading my own epistle. I’m surprised anyone would print my letters in public; apparently I must have taken a course in essay-writing from the Klee-Magritte-Escher Academy, but I don’t recall.
The issue of 5-acre rachelitos versus 40-acre ranchotes versus 160- or 640- acre rancho-anchos is just a symptom of the larger issue. Unfortunately, even an informed electorate (as proposed by Ed) can’t overturn the law of physics which says two bodies can’t occupy the same space at the same time, and the species keeps producing more bodies clamoring for space, and the king-of-one’s-castle mentality makes it even harder to cooperate.
We do have some local role models for cooperative human behavior: art co-ops, farm co-ops, even KHEN community radio. As the population gets denser we’re going to have our armed forces start practicing their population-attrition skills — 10,000 civilians in Iraq — on the home front.
Though I myself live in solitude appropriate to an old curmudgeon, I can see that this is an indulgence in inefficiency. As long as we’re contemplating a vote on it, let’s vote on the right propositions:
Proposition A: Any person(s) in possession of 5 or more acres shall be required to produce more food and energy than they consume, without recourse to a whole lot of outside help. Those who want to be shopkeepers, officeheads, or benders of metal or gluers of wood can circle their homes in towns and villages where they don’t use up productive acreage for pretty.
Proposition B: Any persons owning or keeping draftable beasts of burden shall draft them full-on and see that they earn their fodder, hauling, and so on. State inspectors will make spot checks to see that the animals are put to good use and the owners work from five A.M. until they pass out smeared with mud still wearing their coveralls at ten P.M. Time-sharing of animals by small communities will be encouraged.
Proposition C: Anyone found engaged in the blasphemy of real estate profiteering shall be lobotomized and sterilized. Others who depend on a growth economy shall enter the ten-point program to restructure themselves to sustainability.
Sounds a bit Chinese? So do a heck of a lot of our goods: footwear, shop machinery, even organic beans. The Chinese passed through collectivization and some of them are now into something new; like it or not, they seem to be thriving without the freedom to build trophy-homes and own multiple humvees, perhaps.
Since we’re likely to be driving around in Tientsias and Shanghais instead of in Toyotas and Nissans in a couple of decades, maybe it bears a close look. Not the catechism of Lenin, but the tribal spirit of sharing and looking after the common good as opposed to our Tarzanian chest-thumping lone-star-achiever mentality.
Imagine if Salida had accommodated housing growth by putting up some two-and-three story buildings in trade for some green lots? A little common-sense sharing and humility now might prevent a lot of draconian totalitarianism later on.
So thanks for the raft trip down the buffalo-dung rapids of water law here in Kafkamerica. I may not know the difference between a ranchelito and a rancho-lo-mein, but I’m glad you’re thinking seriously about it and I admire your perspicacitito. If that’s not getting too personal, I mean.
Slim Wolfe
Villa Grove
