Brief by Ed Quillen
Regional News – May 2005 – Colorado Central Magazine
Barrage of Break-ins
There seems to be an epidemic of window-smashing hereabouts. The mildest case was at the 21st Amendment Liquor Store in Crestone. In the wee hours of March 9, neighbors heard glass breaking and saw two people running away. They may have been after a shelf of liquor and wine near the window, but an inventory check showed that nothing was taken. The Saguache County Sheriff’s Department said it would increase patrols in Crestone, but also urged merchants to take some precautions – several business doors were found unlocked after the break-in.
Fairplay and Alma were hit the worst. In the pre-dawn hours of March 5, thieves used rocks to shatter storefront windows and glass doors at four firms in Fairplay and one in Alma. The thieves hit the cash registers first – generally finding only pocket change there – then grabbed what they could, including $2,000 worth of gear from High Alpine Sports in Fairplay.
A security camera next door, at Even in the End Liquors, showed two persons in ski masks, gloves, and black clothing, who were in and out in about 30 seconds. Also hit were Fairplay Sporting Goods, Wood-N-Hammer Hardware, and Silverheels Mercantile.
Westcliffe’s turn came between 2:30 and 3 a.m. on March 12, when several business windows along Main Street were smashed by rocks. Again, the thieves went for the cash registers.
“They may have taken as much as $10 in change,” Custer County Sheriff Fred Jobe said, but no merchandise was reported missing. The shops included Westcliffe Petroleum, Wanda’s Garden, Bread Basket Bakery, Grandma’s House, and Miller Automotive. There is a reward of $1,000 for any information leading to an arrest, and the Custer County Sheriff’s Department telephone number is 719-783-2270.
Observations
“Mad at your neighbor? Are you feuding over dog doo on your lawn? You could make $100,000 off the deal without even suing the bastard. You just have to appear on a reality TV show, which promises to be even more degrading than taking your argument to court. TBS is searching Silverton, and other locales, for neighboring, feuding families. We think the entire town of Silverton should appear on such a show.”
“From the Caldera,” p. 5, Silverton Standard, April 8.
“I consider myself the toilet commissioner.”
Lake County Commissioner Ken Olsen, explaining his work to get more public restrooms in Leadville and Lake County.
Page 5, Leadville Herald-Democrat, April 7.
“You know you live in Colorado when you have the same number of liquor stores as churches.”
Park County Sheriff Fred Wegener,
p. 2, Fairplay Flume, March 18.
“As I look out my window today at the snow-filled sky and remember that I was working outside in shirt sleeves yesterday, I guess I really don’t have to drive anywhere this time of year to go from winter to summer and back again.”
Larry Charrier, p. 4,
Wet Mountain Tribune, March 17.
“We’ve reached the critical mass necessary to form the Crestone Moffat Busybody Club. The self-righteous could meet every third Sunday and form discussion groups around such topics as Creative Meddling, Manipulation and Fault-Finding, or Minding Other People’s Business, along with Shrill and Shriller. There are several qualified group leaders who will no doubt self-appoint, thus leading to more conflict and confusion with the result of self-implosion.”
Doug Larsen, p. 3, Crestone Eagle, April 2005.
“One thing that was on my mind … was the idea, reported recently by our papers, that the negatives of strong tourism outweigh the positives – in particular because service workers are not well paid. Before reading this I had thought that our county lags Colorado in average income because tourism has been weak, so the notion that stronger tourism would actually hurt us had my head in a spin.”
John Norton, p. 2,
Gunnison Country Times, March 31.
While visiting Australia, Canyon Country Zephyr publisher Jim Stiles — who’s famed for his comic denunciations of developers, realtors, growth, “progress,” tourism, and resort economies — looked at his highway map and found a road that “had my name on it” where he might enjoy “the peace and quiet of the tiny town at the mouth of the Murchison River. There, just a few miles down the coast from Kalbarri was Stiles Road.”
However, it was “the gateway to the biggest housing development to hit the north coast in years. And just across from Stiles Road? Coming soon, the Kalbarri ECO-LODGE. They expect tourist visitation and second-home construction to increase exponentially in the coming years. Once again, God is screwing with me.”
Jim Stiles, p. 3, Canyon Country Zephyr,
April-May 2005.
April Foolishness
Of the multitude of Central Colorado newspapers we get, only two celebrated April Fool’s Day. The Crestone Eagle pulled readers’ legs with a story about how “The Baca bison herd of approximately 40 animals may be a natural remnant of the once-great herd that roamed eastern Colorado,” since they were genetically different from the Zapata-Medano Ranch herd.
The Wet Mountain Tribune in Westcliffe devoted its entire front page to stories like “Westcliffe says OK to build Wall-Mart” (a 50,000-square-foot store that sells nothing but walls), “School lunch program gets creative as a result of funding cuts by Bush” (using prairie dogs for such delicacies as meadow-pup meatballs, whistle-pig goulash, and rodentroni and cheese), and our favorite, “GOP Central Committee: Blood tests now required to rule out Dem switch-hitters.”
That story explained that so many Custer County Democrats change registration to vote in the GOP primaries (basically the election in Republican Custer County) that “the local GOP Central Committee is requiring all new registrants to take a simple blood test to prove party affiliation,” funded by “an anonymous grant from an out-of-state land developer.”
If those registering as Republicans “have any Democratic or left-leaning genes, they will have two options: forgo registering as a Republican, or attend a 12-step series of classes on Democratic detoxification at the local Ben Nighthorse Campbell Memorial Training Camp for Errant Liberals.”
Municipal Motto
After a contest in March that drew more than 300 entries, Buena Vista now has a new slogan: Buena Vista, 8,000 feet above Average. The winning writer, Traci Cook of Pleasanton, Calif., was in town visiting her sister and decided to enter the contest.
Although we thought the motto was pretty catchy, we wondered how long it would take for the new slogan to move up the road. Soon there could be: Leadville: 10,152 feet above Average and Alma: 10,355 feet above Average.
Our favorite elevation slogan, however, belongs in Traci Cook’s home state: Death Valley, 282 feet below sea level: Way Below Average and Darn Proud of It.
Runner-up entries in Buena Vista included: Where the sun never runs out; Smile, you’re in Buena Vista Scenic places, smiling faces; A real mountain high; and Friendships lie where the mountains meet the sky. We can remember when it was “The smile-high city.”
Westcliffe and Custer County are looking for a logo that portrays area activities, as well as “our heritage, the natural beauty, the arts, small-town life, peace and serenity, and friendliness.” The deadline for submissions is April 22, just about the time this edition should arrive in the mail, but if there’s time and you’re interested, call Angie Arterburn at 719-783-2414.
Poncha Springs already has a motto, “Crossroads of the Rockies.” Some years ago, we were chatting with then-mayor John Engelbrecht about various theories concerning the origin of the word “Poncha.” He said that he had “always thought it came from a Ute phrase meaning `Place where the wind rips the flesh from your bones.'”
This spring, “Where the wind rips the flesh from your bones” would be an apt slogan for any town in Central Colorado, but we suspect no one will make it official.
Electrifying activities
Last November, Colorado voters approved Amendment 37, which requires electric utilities to get certain percentages of their power from renewable sources like wind, biomass, and solar.
However, co-ops can vote themselves out of its requirements, and that’s what the board of Sedalia-based Intermountain REA, whose service area includes Park County, wants to do. Co-op customers are also members, and if at least 32,000 customer votes are received by May 10, then they’ll be counted to see if a majority agrees with the board.
IREA general manager Stan Lewandowski said that “rural Colorado voted against it [Amendment 37], and urban Colorado voted for it.” He also noted that Amendment does not credit hydropower as a renewable supply source, and IREA gets about 60% of its electricity from hydro sources, primarily Glen Canyon Dam.
Meanwhile, the power company that serves Westcliffe and Silver Cliff, Aquila Electric, told the Custer County Commissioners on April 4 that even if it seems as though the power often blinks in those towns, the service is actually pretty good: only six outages, for a total of less than 21 hours, in the past four years. All of them, except for 12 hours last July, were the result of bad weather.
But when the power is off, it’s hard to get information, Commissioner Dick Downey observed. “I call the 800 number and get someone from Lincoln, Neb., who doesn’t know anything about what’s going on here.”
Big Box Effects
Wal-Mart recently decided not to build a supercenter in Gunnison, and for the time being will continue to operate its 40,000-square-foot store there. But when the supercenter was proposed last year, local protests persuaded the city council to put a moratorium on big boxes until the issue could be studied.
The city hired consultants, Civic Economics, to determine the effect of a Wal-Mart Supercenter on Gunnison. One difference between supercenters and regular Wal-Marts is that the supercenters carry a full line of groceries.
The study concluded that city sales-tax revenues would rise, but there would be fewer jobs in town. In 2009, the city would get $410,000 more in sales tax revenue, but lose 19 jobs.
However, the study might be flawed. One consultant told the city council that Gunnison would be unlikely to lose one of its current grocery stores, since “Salida kept all their grocery stores” after the Wal-Mart Supercenter opened in 1997, replacing a regular Wal-Mart that opened in 1986.
Perhaps the consultant was referring to Salida, Calif. Since 1997, our Salida has lost Downtown Grocery and Don’s Food Town. The latest Wal-Mart casualty is Picture Perfect, the one-hour photo-developing shop on U.S. 50, although one person there told us that the rising popularity of digital photography was also a factor.
Museum Openings
Our heritage comes out of hibernation in May when many museums open for the summer. The big celebration, of course, is in Saguache, where there’s an all-day festival on May 29 for the opening of the museum and nearby Hazard House, a refurbished home offering a glimpse into the past.
Another museum scheduled to re-open on Memorial Day weekend wasn’t just closed for the winter; it’s been closed for the past six years. It’s in the old Silver Cliff town hall, which was built in 1880 and is still on the original site.
Renovation cost nearly $200,000 with $64,000 coming from local sources and the rest from grants. The work included restoring walls, floors, and the belfry; replacing the roof; stabilizing the foundation; and bringing the plumbing and electrical systems up to code. The collection, which includes old fire-fighting tools, has also been cataloged. ยค
