Letter from Slim Wolfe
Modern times – October 2001 – Colorado Central Magazine
Colorado Central:
Come off it, readers, am I a Luddite? Ludd would surely roll over in his grave at the comparison. Honestly, I thought Luddite was some kind of magic mineral found on Mr. Tonganoxie and sold by enterprising longhairs for its restorative qualities.
I’m not opposed to science and industry, except when used in the pursuit of bad taste, sloth, gluttony (which is most of the time) or when a dependence develops (which is nearly universal). My hero, in fact, is Dr. Science himself, the public radio figure. That man speaks truth.
The only “-ite” you can pin on my lapel is “Rowite, F.A.R.T.” a name accorded to denizens of “The Row,” or “Desolation Row,” an obscure San Luis Valley tract. Rowites are sworn to skinnydipping and general minimalism and casualness, which in some places are misconstrued as hedonism, inadequacy, and slovenliness. My credo? Nekkid swimming and dumpster diving are the keys to salvation, and poverty is a gift if it decreases one’s obligation to pay taxes to a warlike and gluttonous society. In a world of shrinking resources, we’ll all lose our vanities soon enough, but it doesn’t hurt to start building up brownie points in humbleness at a fairly early age, like, now. Take off that tie and grovel in that trash bin, sinner! Til you lose the fear!
I did enjoy the August edition, in particular the hard-hitting editorial. Greed seems to be a natural phenomenon paralleling lust, with which I’ve had more experience, or gluttony, which I know in the context of Pistachio butter. Are we put here on earth to sink under our natural drives, or survive by rising above them, and how many of them are artificially induced? Maybe Dr. Science knows the answers.
Best,
Slym Wolfgebrigtsen
(Skandinavik Outhouse Wainscotting)
(www.norpoop.com)